Monday, November 21, 2011

Wheels of change keep on turning

What a difference a weekend can make. Friday I posted about us waiting until July to try to start making a baby and in just 3 short days that date has changed. We are now going to start in April. Michael and I had quite the discussion last night. While I whole-heartedly agree with all of his reasoning, one of the number one reasons I’ve been so eager to start trying is because I want my child to know my grandmother (while she’s currently in decent health, I know there will come a time-much sooner than I’m willing to deal with when she’s not with us). There are no words available that describe how much this lady means to me. Honestly, every time I think about the possibility of my child never knowing her it brings me to tears, and if that doesn’t do it, taking the thought a step further and knowing that my child will never know my grandfather (he passed away when I was in 5th grade) just breaks my heart. I was definitely a granddaddy’s baby. I remember the smell of his truck, those old overalls he wore all the time, his green John Deer hat, the smell of his aftershave, and the roughness of his hands. To say that I miss him really only scratches the surface, but the thought of my child never meeting him-or her- just breaks my heart. While I know that this is no reason to rush into having a baby, Michael and I are both ready. We’ve come to an entirely new place in the last several months with this decision. For Michael it went from being not no, but absolutely no to now he’s excited about the possibility but cautious and wants to make sure that we are doing everything possible to do what’s best for our future baby-and family! Our reasons for waiting this long are financial-as I stated on Friday. Thankfully, God has been so amazing in the last year (really when isn’t God amazing). He’s blessed us so much-and continues to-and has put us in a position where we are financially okay where we are if we got pregnant today; we just wanted to add a little cushion. Now, the fact that we are moving up the “start” date does not mean that we aren’t going to continue to do everything possible to pay off our car and pay down our student loans. Those are still our goals. However, we understand that with all of the doors that have been opened in the last month or so we will be able to do that in June. So whether we are pregnant then or still trying to get pregnant it doesn’t really affect our ability to make that goal a reality. Now, the real question: What does that make my weight loss goal look like? It makes it a little less likely to drop 40 pounds-I’m just being realistic-but I am going to do EVERYTHING in my power to get as close to it as possible. Now, let me back up, when I say everything I don’t mean I’m going to do anything unhealthy like upchuck or take diet pills, but I’m going to make sure that I’m eating right and working out. As a matter of fact, as of this morning my Beach Body challenge has begun. Bring on the change! I know WHATEVER change happens it’s for the good because it’s creating a healthier environment for Baby Fox.

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